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With Halloween just around the corner, it got me thinking about Masks - not in the costume sense, but rather in the way we hide our true selves from others.
When we were little, wearing Masks was all about playing make believe and pretending to be someone else just for fun. But as we get older and the pressure to fit in gets bigger, we may wear a mask to try and get others to like us or accept us into the group. Before long, we get so good at fooling others that eventually we wind up deceiving ourselves because even we don't know who we really are.
We all have our roles in life; student, son, daughter, mother, father, teacher, friend. But there may be roles that we play and Masks we wear that we may not even be aware of and that may be keeping us trapped in fear and insecurity.
For example, you may be someone who demands perfection from everything that you do. In some ways, that characteristic will serve you, but more often than not, this kind of striving can leave you feeling like you'll never be good enough. You may be wearing the mask of the judge, who is forever criticizing and demanding perfection of yourself and others.
If you've ever done anything just to fit in, or said "yes" when you really wanted to say "no," you may be wearing the mask of the chameleon that continually changes its colors to blend in with any environment, which can put you in compromising and even dangerous situations.
There are others too such as; the bully, the victim, the imposter, the rebel, the clown - and all of them are covering up feelings of insecurity about who you really are. There is no shame in discovering that you've been wearing a mask. But it's important to realize this truth - not everyone is going to like us. So if we live our lives becoming the best, most authentic version of ourselves, the people that do like us, actually like us for who we really are.
Wearing masks may give us temporary relief and may give us the illusion that we are safe and secure, but it takes so much energy to keep up the façade that eventually we end up exhausted and depressed. If you keep pressing the real you down, the only possible and inevitable outcome is depression.
Here are 3 tips to help you take off the mask:
1. Get to know yourself: This is one of the most important jobs you have in life. Self-knowledge is the key to self-mastery, power, self-confidence and inner peace.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others: There is no one on the planet quite like you and the world wouldn't be the same without you in it. It is so much more important to be a first rate version of you instead of a second rate version of someone else.
3. Celebrate your strengths: make a list of everything you like about yourself. Like attracts like, so when you focus on your strengths, you'll attract more positive people, events and situations back to you.
Save the mask for Halloween. The world doesn't need another insecure, depressed teen. We need strong, confident leaders. We need you.
Kathleen Hassan is a professional speaker and teen life coach and travels the country presenting programs on self-esteem, stress management and empowerment to students, parents and teachers. Her hard-earned wisdom and real-life lessons are based on her own journey from troubled teen to teen mentor to successful entrepreneur. She can be reached at 617-698-1976 or visit her online at http://www.KathleenHassan.com
